I was tooling about the web the other day, when I saw a link for interesting Halloween Costumes. I am interested in costumes because they allow us, for a limited time only, to wear the stuff that would be ridiculous, outre', or just plain unappropriate most of the time.
I was disgusted to find that most of the costumes for women consist of mainly undergarments. It used to be that you would go to a party and everyone was a French Maid or wearing a catsuit, but now, everyone who dares, just puts on some underwear.
Even if it's unusually pretty, I don't want to see you without clothing. My friend Bob once went as Jesus Christ, but due to his stocky build, we all thought he was baby New Year. That loincloth looked way too diaper for us. Plus, it was cold.
One year I went as the Bride of Frankenstein. Too bad, I don't have a photo for you, but Mom was out of film or something. As I was driving through the turnpike, lightning in my hair, eyebrows severely altered, black lips, and bandages hanging from my arms, the toll guy leaned out of the booth and remarked: you look really hot tonight. He did not know me, and so he did not know how I looked every other night, and the party was about a week from Halloween. I'm still not quite sure what that was about, but it's a good story, and it's true.
When I got to the party, there were a load of catsuits, but I had my choice of suitors, and eventually chose a gorilla with an oversized tie. I thought the tie was an extra effort. He turned out to be Mr. wrong, inviting me over by saying "why not come over and make me dinner? I bought some kind of meat."
He was not sure what kind of meat he had bought, and from experience I knew he had not even salt and pepper with which to season said mystery meat.
I told him in no uncertain terms that it was not a good invitation. "You say, come over I have a mink coat, and some kind of meat, or perhaps; I have roses, champagne and chocolates, and some kind of meat." I suggested.
He did not think I was funny, or even helpful, which I really was, and when, a couple years later, he was to marry a young woman, I wondered how he had managed to convince her. It certainly was not his manner.
Maybe it was the gorilla suit.