Friday, May 25, 2012

Look Into My Eyes

When was the last time you looked a stranger in the eyes?
 In Italy if you looked into a man’s eyes, he would immediately think you wanted to sleep with him, and he would put on the moves- fortissimo.
Today I ate lunch in a place for concerts where there was a guy playing gorgeous guitar and singing with a beautiful tone. He has more hair than sideshow Bob and it was all gray, as was his prodigious beard. Normally, I would not look at this guy to save my life, but I wanted to see who was underneath. I looked into as much of his eyes as I could see beneath the hair, and eyeglasses, and he saw me. It was loud in there, and my friend was yakking away but I only wanted to listen to the music. I wanted to make a friend. We left before the set ended but he will be around, and next time he will look at my eyes.
Try it today or tomorrow, just look and see what happens.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Home Diva

Usually I get my best ideas by hearing something wrong.  The other day, I was in the back of the shop, stringing up crystals, when I heard someone mention going to Home Diva.  Wow! where is that store? I know a million girls who would like to go there.  It turns out, that was not what they had said at all.  My mind understood something that I thought I would like instead of something mundane that I already knew.  I did not even know what would be at Home Diva once I got there, but I was sure I would like it.  So, just in case, I got the fictitious name registered, and I am the new home diva.  What I do with that remains to be seen.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

What to bring to a Potluck Dinner

A couple years ago, I read an article in Esquire Magazine.  It involved tiger shrimp and cannelini beans and I made it thinking they had a chef do it, so it must be good.  It was not so good and I wrote them the following note.  They, being the snide guys they are only printed the word gremoulata as something pretentious, or oh, I forgot, but they did not print the whole letter. Gremoulata is generally put on lamb and it is chopped garlic, parsley and lemon zest and it can really zing up a dish.


I realize I am never going to get all those wrongs set to right, but I can put my improvements here.  If you want the original recipe, I think you can find it here:

Re: Minor Catastrophe No. 138
I found your recipe for a potluck intriguing.  Let’s face it, someone comes to the door with a load of giant shrimp and nobody’s going to gripe, right?
I thought the recipe was quick and easy, but bland to the taste.
 I mean; why does everyone eat shrimp scampi or shrimp with cocktail sauce?  The reason is because shrimp itself, has a very delicate taste and needs some kind of foil to set it up.  Also, those cannelini beans aka: white northern, soak up a lot of liquid. I added some white balsamic vinegar, Australian sea salt, a couple shakes of hot sauce, the juice of a lime, some fresh thyme from the garden, and just for an even more luxurious mouth feel, an avocado.  I served it on a bed of crisp romaine.  NOW it’s dinner.
If I worked at his restaurant, I would be fired, as I once was for suggesting gremoulata be put on a lamb dish that was lacking.  That’s just me all over.

The truth is, that I was fired for suggesting an improvement in a restaurant kitchen, and because they said I was too slow.  They were right.  I was too slow because 1. my feet hurt, and 2. I was the only person on the waitstaff not stoned to the gills on cocaine, which I told them when they called to fire me on the phone. It did not help my case.