Waiting for an important call, I realized I had ignored the state of the house for about 6 weeks. I decided to get with it.
While swabbing the kitchen floor, I decided to break at the oven and spray it with cleaner. That should take about 2-3 hours to eat through to enamel. (for more on this see: Accidents in the home).
Climbing the stairs, I noticed: they were disgusting. All manner of dirt dust and hair remained on the treads. Wearing my trusty Platex Living Gloves, (I think they actually might call them that although outside of the bubble boy I don't know who would call that living..) I climb one stair at a time rubbing furiously at the back edge and then sides and middle.
The resulting debris resembled a hairy bowling ball. There was soooo much hair! Obviously I had been there at least once.
This put me in mind of all those detective shows. Come on, they find one hair on the victim, and it's crime solved? I had enough evidence to convict myself a billion times over. I had hair there from when I was a redhead.
Wait a second.... I've never BEEN a redhead!
Case open pending further investigation.