What to bring to a Potluck Dinner

A couple years ago, I read an article in Esquire Magazine.  It involved tiger shrimp and cannelini beans and I made it thinking they had a chef do it, so it must be good.  It was not so good and I wrote them the following note.  They, being the snide guys they are only printed the word gremoulata as something pretentious, or oh, I forgot, but they did not print the whole letter. Gremoulata is generally put on lamb and it is chopped garlic, parsley and lemon zest and it can really zing up a dish.

  

I realize I am never going to get all those wrongs set to right, but I can put my improvements here.  If you want the original recipe, I think you can find it here:http://www.esquire.com/features/Dilemmas/potluck-0708?click=main_sr#slide-1

Re: Minor Catastrophe No. 138

I found your recipe for a potluck intriguing.  Let’s face it, someone comes to the door with a load of giant shrimp and nobody’s going to gripe, right?

I thought the recipe was quick and easy, but bland to the taste.

 I mean; why does everyone eat shrimp scampi or shrimp with cocktail sauce?  The reason is because shrimp itself, has a very delicate taste and needs some kind of foil to set it up.  Also, those cannelini beans aka: white northern, soak up a lot of liquid. I added some white balsamic vinegar, Australian sea salt, a couple shakes of hot sauce, the juice of a lime, some fresh thyme from the garden, and just for an even more luxurious mouth feel, an avocado.  I served it on a bed of crisp romaine.  NOW it’s dinner.

If I worked at his restaurant, I would be fired, as I once was for suggesting gremoulata be put on a lamb dish that was lacking.  That’s just me all over.

The truth is, that I was fired for suggesting an improvement in a restaurant kitchen, and because they said I was too slow.  They were right.  I was too slow because 1. my feet hurt, and 2. I was the only person on the waitstaff not stoned to the gills on cocaine, which I told them when they called to fire me on the phone. It did not help my case.