Sunday, August 07, 2011

Good Eats

When you are alone in the house, you can eat anything you want, and the only person you hurt is....oh yeah, you.

The thing is, that when you live with someone, and you normally eat balanced meals, the kind that have protein, carbs and vegetables, not the applestack from minute to win it, and the other person or people know or believe that you are always eating reasonably you generally follow those rules so as not to get caught stuffing your face while supposedly on a diet.  That is to say, until the entire pan of brownies disappears, they think you are in control of yourself.

A while back, half a blueberry cake disappeared and I had to ask 50 questions before I found out that the answer was "my brother and I ate it".  Fair enough, but why the subterfuge?

Now I'm in the house alone, and no one knows what is going on here.  I want to eat the vegetables, I BUY the vegetables and pretty fruits, and I visit them in the refrigerator when I stop by there to see if any ice cream with caramel has appeared there as if by magic.

I'm trying to get off the meat band wagon, and frankly, that one was easy.  Now I am stuck on fried shrimp!
That cannot be totally good for me.  The shrimp themselves are iffy, in that they are probably frozen and sold in bulk to the Greek Pizza shop.  (remind me some time to tell you about the Pakistani Pizza shop, it may be here someplace)  Anyway, those farmed shrimp (and I am guessing here, but it's prob'ly a good guess) that the shrimp are farmed, and as such, they are crowded, and because of that, they are filled full of antibiotics and heavy metals that are floating around in the water from people getting cured of things and flushing their drugs down the toilet.  Okay, I totally did not mean to go there...

So for dinner, I had maybe 6 or 7 jumbo fried shrimp with "cocktail sauce".  I don't know what they  call it, it's a little take out cup with ketchup and a dab of horseradish in it.  So I had that, some onion rings, (okay, that's the first time I had those in months), and some giant light green olives that you have to eat around the pit like hand fruit, they are so large, and a bunch of chocolate chips.  No cookies, just chips.  You save a TON of calories that way.

I am sure there are those of you who will be gasping at the unvarnished nerve of me to admit to such a revolting diet, (that was just dinner) and others who are saying " pish, tosh, I just ate a chicken fried baby whale, and chased it with a red velvet layer cake and a liter of mountain dew!"

  So maybe I am not so far out of control as I think I am.  I am hoping that by confessing to you, my friends and whatever you are to me, that I will try and behave somewhat before you come asking "How's that little eating problem going?"  Or before I bust out of another size of jeans, having already donated all the fat pants earlier this summer, in a burst of optimism.  (OH, NO SHE DIDN'T???  Yeah, I did.

So let this little tale of woe be a warning to you buckaroos.  (I sent something to Texas today, and I saw Rango last night, and I am taking a little license here .)

Stay on the straight and narrow and eat the fresh food before we all explode in a collective self inflicted massacre.  Well, that was weak, but I promise to work on it....

1 comment:

  1. Chicken Friend Baby Whale ~snorts~ I am sure that will be at the next State Fair here in Texas!


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