Monday, March 30, 2009

The Kalishnikov Babes

I got this postcard today. It is obviously a send up, but still it seems a bit off. I'm not sure how I got on this mailing list.
Evidently, it is about an actor who takes a job to get into the "big time." It's another case of poor life choices meets bad taste is timeless. (the last a quote from the late Frank Zappa).
You just don't get enough bad art like this any more.
At least I don't.
It's kind of cold again. I was hoping for spring. Yesterday we had hail that varied form marble to golf ball size. It was quite surprising.

Over the weekend we went to a party with a 60's theme. Though most of us lived through it, few of us wore anything resembling our 60's wear. My clothes have not changed all that much. Jeans, boots, and a peasant blouse were pretty much the same. I even had a necklace left over from high school. I could never bring myself to get rid of it.

Harry wore his striped hipster bell bottoms. We were all amazed he could fit into them.

I fit into them standing up, he said. Driving over here was kind of tough, he admitted.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Driving Drunk

Last Night, I could not get to sleep. I came upstairs to the computer and viewed a couple of forwarded youtube movielets. One was of extreme sheep herding, the other was of a drunk girl. I am not completely sure she was kidding, but I thought it was stupid of her to post it anyway...
I finally fell asleep at about 4 AM. I had a long dream and this is what I remember:

I was at work, and there was a leak in the basement. The water was rising at an alarming rate, so we called the plumber, and when he arrived, we showed him the problem and left the building. I was with my boss, and we left Karen alone to watch the business.

We went downtown. It was not a town I know, but it was the downtown district never the less. We wandered around and my boss gave me some gaudy earring/hair things, and I clipped them still on their cardboard, to my turtleneck, and we continued our travels.

At one store he ran in the back door and quickly returned, giving me a pastel printed very large tote bag made of some kind of water proof material which had inside it, a matching umbrella. It looked sort of like a Monet scene but kind of loud as those reproductions sometimes are. I was not sure I liked it, or why he was buying me stuff, and as I was already carrying a large full, heavy tote, I was not sure of the need for it, but I took it and thanked him and we continued on.
I asked him if he had stolen it, as he was in and out in seconds, and he reassured me that it was all right without actually admitting to stealing it.

Eventually we ended up at a French restaurant that was running some kind of special promotion. I recall my boss speaking and waving expansively with his arm while holding a large glass of red wine in a proper if outsized red wine glass. He was standing, not sitting, and walking around the restaurant looking at the posters for music concerts.

I told him that we could leave, or he could order "off the menu", something not so pricey. He said it was ok, but next thing I knew, I was nearing the end of what seemed to be a liverwurst sandwich and the crusts were falling apart. I put the last bits down on the plate as it was getting messy.

The waiter gave us a cupon for a free ice cream. The picture was of a nutty Buddy ice cream cone that we used to get from the grocery store.
There was a giant Dairy Queen across the parking lot, and we went in.

At this point, my boss became Meredith Viera from TV. She used to do news, but now does a morning show and a quiz show. More money, less work. Good for her.

The inside of the building was nothing like the outside which was larger than a regular DQ but inside it was like a fancy gelato store. We were looking for the flavors on the wall, and though there were enough signs, we could not find any flavors listed. Meredith was getting cranky and loud.

Unfortunately, Meredith was very drunk from the red wine at the restaurant. She wanted an ice cream for each of us although we only had one cupon. I asked the counter person for an extra, but they said it would have to be a prescription, and promptly signed one with a prescription for an extra ice cream and handed it to me. We never found the flavors, and in fact I don't know if we ever got the ice cream. I think we left without it.

It gets a bit fuzzy here, but we got into a large black car to get back to work, but suddenly we were in Tucson, Arizona. I do not recognize where we were, but there was an empty lot with a person sitting like the little ceramic souvenirs; wearing a sombrero and a blanket, and sitting with knees up and head down, the man was sitting in an almost empty red dirt lot. Meredith drove off the sidewalk and onto the red dirt yard, and I hollered at her to stop so that I could drive.

I was surprised that she capitulated so easily. I was feeling tired and kind of drunk myself, but I thought maybe I could drive without hitting anything. When I looked up, the man in the yard had turned into a woman in native dress, frozen in a tableaux with one arm outflung behind her and the other cocked partially over her face. She was alarmed by the rogue car and was calling her children who were running around in the area.

I started driving back, and realized we were never getting there by closing time.

Finally, I woke up and was feeling pretty dizzy and tired. I decided it was best to get up and get on with things. The house is freezing. It is just Spring, but it is cold out today, and the heat in the house has not yet been turned on.